[DECLASSIFIED]

Cleared by the procurement buro

Hey there, comrade! Good that I found you - I'm supposed to announce the end-of-2018 equipment guidelines changes.

Hey, comrade Commissar. But wait, didn't the year end, like, over a week ago?

What can i say, we've had shipping problems.

Haha, like in that one afterpar-

Anyway! Ever since the ceasefire, and the subsequently UN-mandated cooperation with IDAP, we've been forced to keep working with them in order to bring us up to code on the laws of war.

Are we gonna have to attend another sensitivity workshop?

ЧЕРТ ВОЗМИ, NO. No more workshops. No, what the IDAP have actually pointed out over and over again is another thing we should take care of: our uniforms.

What uniforms?

Exactly. They say we need to have some form of identifying emblem on us, or we don't have a "fixed distinctive sign recognizable at a distance" and are "unlawful combatants" and will be "shot like the dogs we are" or something.

Killjoys.

Tell me about it.

But wait, what about the patches we got last, I mean, the year before? Don't they count?

Well, they do, technically, but what happened was, ever since we switched to the velcro, the comrades have been losing them all over the place. Apparently, some of the local kids thought they were cool (which they are), and started collecting them. Then, some one phoned in a bomb threat to a local school, they called in a SWAT team, and, well, let's just say Joseph Kony is now following me on Twitter.

Who? Following you? What's a twitter? Should I alert the guards?

No, I meant-Look, the point is, they're making us get uniforms, and we've managed to haggle them down to T-shirts.

T-shirts? Like, with an emblem?

Exactly. We've managed to arrange a shipment of all-black T-shirts with an identifying marking, that will hopefully keep the IDAP off of our backs for now. Look, I even brought a design preview:

2018 tshirt

Huh. That looks cool!

Yes it does, comrade. Yes it does. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go rat out someone to the ICC...

Actual info: in lieu of the usual morale patches, the Party has opted for something a litte bit different - A T-Shirt. They're available right now, with convenient international shipping, and as usual, all proceeds go towards the Dacha whiskey budget maintennance of the K-IV Widowmaker. Prime Minister Netkev, still, has our full support.

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